Q?
How often will we meet for counseling?
A.
Sessions last for 50 minutes. Clients are typically seen once or twice a week. The number and frequency of sessions depends upon your needs.
Q?
How long will we be in counseling?
A.The length of time will vary for each individual, couple and family as it depends upon the nature of the problem and the goals of each client.
Some clients have a very specific issue that can be worked through in a few sessions. For others, therapy is an on-going learning process and they choose to remain in counseling for longer periods of time. Treatment plans and treatment length will be determined and discussed together.
Q?
How do we determine the best way for us to get divorced?
A.
We have linked our website with attorneys who have demonstrated to us their commitment to helping families divorce in the least adversarial and most cost effective way. They will be best to advise you based on the specifics unique to your family. The consultations are typically free of charge.
Q?
Why does the Center for Marital and Family Transition recommend collaborative divorce over traditional divorce?
A.
Traditional family attorneys handle divorce as they would a business transaction; they are focused, trained, and responsible only to protect you legally and financially. While this is an appropriate way to handle a partnership, a divorce should be handled with more attention to the long-term effects on the entire family. Ex-business partners never need to see each other after the lawsuit ends, but you and your ex-spouse will need to co-parent your children together for the rest of your lives. Therefore, handling a divorce in the same manner as a business just does not make sense. Therapists know this. So do many family attorneys. Out of this awareness, collaborative family law was created.
Q?
What is the difference between collaborative and traditional divorce?
A.There are two major differences between a collaborative divorce and a traditional divorce. The first is that in a collaborative divorce, there is a team of specialized and trained professionals who each offer their unique expertise to guide you through your divorce. On your team, you will each have an individual attorney to guide you on what is permissible by law; a neutral mental health professional who will help create a parenting plan and manage your emotional needs throughout the process, and a neutral financial professional who will educate you on the most cost-effective and equitable ways to distribute your assets and your debt.
The second crucial distinction between collaborative and traditional divorce is that the attorneys contractually guarantee that they will never go to court and will work together for the most efficient
resolutions to all marital issues. This contractual obligation eliminates the hours of positioning and fighting that is found in traditional divorce litigation. Instead, you and your ex-spouse will be able to make your own educated and well thought-out decisions for your family as you transition from being a married couple to co-parents. You will be in charge of the process and, thus in control of what your life will look like when the divorce is final. This is rarely the case when you turn your autonomy over to the judicial system.
Q?
Why is collaborative law less expensive that traditional litigation?
A.While it may sound expensive to have four professionals working on your case, it has actually been found to be one of the most cost effective means of divorce.
The major expense of a traditional divorce is the time devoted to depositions, hearings, multiple forensic experts, court costs and the trial. All of this is eliminated when going to court is not an option. The attorneys who have decided to make the shift from traditional to collaborative law are committed to the long-term well being of their clients as opposed to the lucrative, time-consuming tasks of litigation. This change is almost always based on years of practicing traditional family law and seeing the irreparable damage battling it out in court can cause.
Q?
If we decide to handle our divorce collaboratively, what occurs?
A.
A collaborative divorce will be a series of meetings that will be focused on finding practical solutions to the hurdles of family reorganization. The agendas include parenting plans, equitable distribution of assets and liabilities, alimony, child support, and the items you and your spouse prioritize in a confidential and proactive environment. The marital settlement agreement will be one that is mutually acceptable with all the final decisions being agreed upon by both you and your spouse.
Q?
Do we need co-parenting facilitation during our separation and after our divorce?
A.
We believe, for almost all families, working with a facilitator will ease the transition from a troubled marriage to a more positive co- parenting relationship.
Q?
How does co-parenting facilitation work?
A.Now that you are separated or divorced, if you do not agree on parenting issues, your approach or frustration may cause explosive fighting or feelings of powerlessness. This not only hurts you, but it is traumatic for your children.
The therapist will get to know both of you in an understanding and compassionate environment. You can meet with the therapist together or separately. The therapist is neutral and understands that both of you have valid reasons for your beliefs, actions, and reactions.
Using the most up to date child development research and effective parenting skills, the therapist offers suggestions and crafts ways for you and your ex-spouse to understand and make decisions that are in the best interest of your children and family.
Q?
How involved is the co-parenting facilitator in our lives?
A.With most families, the therapist acts as an ongoing consultant on an “as needed” basis for the new situations that arise as families transition from one home to two.
In high conflict situations, the therapist may monitor and help to word all email communications to find the best way for the ex-spouses to communicate. The therapist slowly eases the parents into a relationship that minimizes hostile contact for the well being of the children.
While the degree of intervention varies with each family, the goal is always to help you and your ex-spouse effectively communicate independently as soon as possible.
Q?
What if I want couples counseling or co-parenting facilitation but my spouse/ ex-spouse won’t come?
A.We will do everything we can to help encourage and make the resistant individual(s) comfortable and want to join the process. However, sometimes one partner is not as willing or ready as the other to get help. We have found that it is possible to improve a relationship with just one person involved in the process.
Q?
Are the services at The Center for Marital and Family Transition confidential?
A.
With certain exceptions that will be discussed in our initial meeting, all forms of counseling, mediation, collaborative divorce, and co-parenting facilitation will be confidential.
